Say Yes to Marriage

Marriage; sure seems to get talked about, but for the wrong reasons. In years past it was the divorce rate, now that seems to have been supplanted by same-sex marriage discussions. I believe, of course, from Gods Word that divorce is a bad (or maybe a better word would be sad), thing and that "marriage" between people of the same sex is no more legitimate than marriage between someone and their Pomeranian. But be clear that I am not equating these things at all. Divorce is an unfortunate experience that even Christians can experience, whereas, a union not between one man and one woman is not marriage. It's a union, partnership, agreement, mess, etc., but definitely not marriage. But these are issues for another time, as I want to celebrate marriage (reminder: whenever you see marriage without italics in the text, I'm referring to one male/one female, who have made their commitment between God and man in a formal ceremony.

Next month my parents will be celebrating their 58th anniversary, and my wife and I, our 19th. There is nothing that I am more proud of (in a thankful blessed way, not  "...hey, look what I've done!), than being married to such a beautiful, intelligent, and most importantly, Godly woman for these years. No matter how much I screw up in other areas of my life (believe me, it's a long list), I always have that trump card. I am proud of my parents in a similar way. After being married for 19 years, I think I have developed some appreciation of being married as long as they have. Being the eldest of the children, I have remembrance of more of their marriage than my siblings. Although my upbringing was as idyllic as one can be, our family had our share of stresses that could have pushed a husband and wife apart. But they stayed together. From the "worlds" point of view (and mine, before the scales fell away), it would have been easy to suggest that they might be better off apart, than together; fortunately this didn't happen. I believe as a couple stays together over the years, they become more "one flesh" than they were when the vows were exchanged.

My fondest memories of growing up are of times with mom and dad. That's mom and dad concurrently, not consecutively; as in going to see mom and dad, not mom than dad, as is the case in many situations where they have split up. Unquestionably, it is a specific blessing for them that my parents are enjoying a nice life in Florida, and a specific blessing for me and my family that Grandman and Grandpa are a one-stop destination. They have each other and we have them; it doesn't get much better in this life.

As for me, that's easy, my marriage was the best thing that happened to me. I didn't get married and have children (well, not me exactly, but you know), until later than most (much later than some). Often when I would tell others how old I was and the age of my kids they would assume that I was on (at least), my second marriage/family. The easy response was that I am just a "late bloomer", but of course we are all on God's schedule; not ours.

I don't claim to know why or claim any credit for such a wonderful blessing, but I'll tell you that I never take my marriage for granted. This doesn't mean that I'm some perfect husband; that is not even close to the reality. What it does mean, is that in my quieter, most lucid moments, I thank God for the wonderful woman in my life. I like to think that there are more with this perspective than sometimes appears to be the case.

Celebrate marriage! For us guys this means not just taking out the trash and helping with the painting, but talk up marriage. When married men go on about other women (as is invariably the case in my experience), at the very least, don't participate. If those around me perceive that I'm uncomfortable it can often lead to an opportunity to explain why. This will lead back to God's Word on the matter, not to me being some kind of prude (granted, many will equate taking a stand based on Bible as being a prude), but that is a mindset that can't be untangled here. I have made comments indicating that I can't relate to those in unhappy marriages and that it must me a tough way to live. As often as not, this causes a guy to backtrack and tell me that it's not really that bad and he didn't mean what he said. That she actually is a great woman that he appreciates.

The "world" can often lead a man to believe that wife/marriage bashing is the masculine (and expected thing), to do. As with so many other practices; the "world" is a poor role model. Measure all things against God's standard and you may very well find yourself going in a different direction than the masses.

Thank God for your spouse, that He made us man and woman, that we should not be alone.