Bravo!

Using a bit of a Golf analogy is how I want to open my tribute post to my parents as they come up on their 60^th wedding anniversary. What I mean is this: it doesn’t matter how you get the little white ball in the hole, as much as it matters how many strokes it takes you to accomplish this. All people see at the end is the number indicating your score; there is no accompanying narrative or video indicating how stylistic your accomplishment was. Similarly, when a husband and wife stay married 60 years, people are just going to see an amazing accomplishment. It's a great "score", no matter how you got there.

Less than 5% of married couples reach this plateau, so my parents should be plenty proud. I certainly am proud of them. A few fun facts from 1957:

·        Average yearly wage: $4500

·        New house: $12,000

·        New car: $1900

·        Gas: 24 cents a gallon

·        Eggs: 28 cents a dozen
     Me: not around yet (at least, not as anyone would remember - sorry, a veiled reference to life beginning at conception - but I digress)

Believers understand that marriage is ordained by God to be between one man and one woman for life; no ifs, ands, or buts. Anything other than that creates disharmony with God’s plan, and usually creates angst for those experiencing a failed union. Now of course, there can (pretty much guaranteed), angst within a marriage, but it very often is a shared angst; either both spouses battling through life’s dark moments, or perhaps conflict between them that eventually passes.

Marriage is also one of God’s common graces; those blessings that all mankind can enjoy, regardless of their eternal standing. As the Bible states: God sends the rain, and the sun to the just and unjust. All the world benefits from God’s tender mercies such as nice weather, good food, friends, family, music, etc. As fallen creations, none of us deserve these. However, God demonstrates His infinite mercy by allowing these; even if only for a season.

A long marriage not only is a blessing for the couple, but also for all of society. Following God’s template results (for the most part, as we all find ways to screw up a free lunch - or a free blessing), in more satisfied individuals, families, and societies. I have always admired the example set by my parents. I am their oldest child and have been around for (save the first year), all of their good and bad times; our family has had its share of both. But through all of this, mom and dad have been the constant. It certainly is not always realized at the conscious level, but (putting on my junior psychologist hat), I feel that my siblings and I have benefited from that constant. People can never have too much security or too much of a good example. Kinda like: no matter what today brings; the sun will rise tomorrow (work with me here, as I know that our Lord’s return and endless cloudy Michigan weather seem to challenge my analogy).

In addition to honoring my parents, I hope to provide them with an anniversary present through this post. The present being manifested in communicating to them the enormity of being together 60 years; how that has impacted me, and why they should reflect on “job well done”. Hopefully, I can dig a little deeper than the typical Hallmark card in mining for some real sentiment.

It’s a point of pride for me realizing my parents have stayed married – against all odds. That’s not just an expression, as most marriages statistically don’t last. And in this case, statistics don’t lie, as I can think of more people who have been divorced, than those who have been married many years to one spouse. My parents could have easily gone that route. Easily, in the sense that many people would not have blamed them if viewed through the prism most would use. That prism allows selfishness and strife to be seen as legitimate reasons two people should go their separate ways. So when everything doesn’t go exactly as you would like or hard times come; let’s call the whole thing off. Never mind (for those married in a church setting; the vast majority in my circle of experience), the wedding vows actually address these eventualities. It’s just a ceremony; it’s not like it really means anything, right? Well, this sorta opens up another can of worms itself; but the point is – you can’t say you weren’t warned. No one knows all that happens between a married couple, but going on observable data and experience, I am confident saying people have broke up over issues that pale in comparison to what my parents got past.

So, why have they been able to do what few others have been able to do? Let me put forth a reason that I feel gets overlooked: Grace. 
Grace is God giving us what we don't deserve. Which pretty much encompasses everything we experience outside of Hell; from the next breath we take, to the vacation house on the lake. We got everything "up-front" when He sent His Son to die on the Cross for us. Certainly a husband and wife married for 60 years has experienced much joy. Of course there is often heartache and strife, everyone experiences these, but who wants to bear these alone? I believe my parents generation (born in the 30's), is one of the last ones where marriage for life between a man and woman is the default mode. In addition to that, divorce carried a negative stigma; as it should. Not because those involved are "bad people", more that the sacred union entered into with so much hope should not be "torn asunder". The "death" of a marriage should be mourned, not celebrated (as so often is the case these days). Divorce "parties" and Dump Your Spouse type billboards reflect much of societies casual attitude toward marriage break-ups.

So, what I'm getting at is that God has blessed them with each other (and me with them). God has blessed anyone who has someone to love, and love them; anyone with talent; anyone with good health, good job, good friends, memories; appreciation of the beauty in this fallen world. Whether or not a person acknowledges God's Grace has no bearing on this reality - it has a huge bearing on their eternity.