Things Aren't Always As They Seem - Part 1

Well, my daughter warned me that keeping up with a blog would not be easy. As if time doesn't fly by enough, it's amazing how tough it is to post something monthly.

Anyway, I'm trying something a little different this time. I'm going to post a short story in installments (even if I had the time, which at my typing speed is a lot), carpal tunnel would probably kill me before I finished.

With obvious influences (and thanks), to C.S. Lewis and Frank Capra; off we go.

It was another hot day in Hell (much worse than the 15 years we spent in Florida), as Satan was sipping his coffee (I knew the devil had to be behind caffeine!). As Satan employed an open door policy, his demons were often dropping in with questions or concerns. This day his first visitor was Dolty.

"Well sir, I guess you're a bit disappointed with how things are going in America these days."

Satan put down is Disneyworld coffee mug and inquired, "What are you babbling about?"

"Well, with such a large percentage of Christians up there, it's gotta be a bummer," Dolty explained. "You know, all that hard work gone to waste."

Depending on different factors, polls could indicate that as many as 80% of Americans identify themselves as Christian.

"Listen stupid," Satan began, "those polls don't mean squat. You have to consider the source. With that group you could probably produce a poll indicating most believe in unicorns."

In fact, there are most likely many "christians" who believe in unicorns, but I digress.

Dolty winced, it wasn't pleasant being rebuked by the Prince of Darkness.

Satan continued, "Most of these people don't know what a real Christian is - let alone are one."

"How do you know this stuff, sir?"

Satan rolled his eyes. "I have a little familiarity with the Bible," he emphasized.

Dolty hated it when Satan was sarcastic, but considering he was the Prince of Darkness, that was probably one of his most positive character traits.

"In fact," the Devil continued, "I was in the inner-circle up there and learned a lot about authentic Christianity before I go the boot."

"Can you tell the difference between a Christian and a non-Christian?," asked Dolty.

"Aha Dolty, just when I was beginning to think you were brain-dead. That's the $64,000 question."

Dolty actually smiled, which was frowned upon for obvious reasons, but Satan let it pass.

"You see I can tell the difference." (It was a pretty important job skill for someone in his position), "but let's find out if you can."

Dolty was pretty sure he didn't like where this was going.

"What I'm going to do is give you some Bible verses and send you up there to see if we need to "worry" about these polls."

Now the slow-witted demon knew he didn't like this. He never did like the humans he "met". They were such whiners (although, under the circumstances; who could blame them). Additionally, they had always "come to him" (in a manner of speaking). It was creepy to imagine going up there. He was downright terrified of the Bible. He knew it had "good" parts, full of murder, lying, adultery, and all kind of sin, but he heard it contained scary stories about the "end times".

Similar to the early Catholic Church, when only priests had access to the Bible; only Satan had access to the Bible in Hell and knew the Pit was the ultimate destination for him and his minions. So truly, for all the other demons; ignorance was bliss.

Satan took a carefully prepared biblical outline of salvation and handed it to Dolty. It highlighted such verses as: James 2:14-17, John 14:15, James 1:22, Matthew 7:16, and many others that emphasize a true believer's responsibility in bearing good fruit.


STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT!